Midnight In Summer
by December Sapphire
Summary: Lord Sesshomaru told me once that he despises humans. That they are lower than the ground he walks on and would never love one. He shattered my heart with those words, opening a locked box that hid my scars. I knew then I was worthless to him. Still, I followed with a smile. [Dark]
1. I: Abandonment

**A/N: **_This story takes place after episode 9 of The Final Act. This is what happens if Sesshomaru decided it was best to leave Rin at a random village instead of letting her remain with him._

**Warning: **_I'm only going to say this once, this story is dark. There is use of coarse language and violent scenes. Be cautious. Thank you!__  
_

**Disclaimers: **Any characters of Rumiko Takahashi's don't belong to me.

**Midnight In Summer**

By: December Sapphire

_"__Love sometimes comes like a dream and leaves like a nightmare_"- Unknown

**Chapter I**

**"Abandonment"**

What motivates a man to engineer his own mind? I've thought about this question and almost nothing else of it for a very long time. Perhaps there is no possible answer. Perhaps the answer is non-existent. Or perhaps the answer is hidden in a man's mind itself. Either way, I knew I would never know.

The disgusting and disturbing images that haunt a man's mind every day, in which is filled with nothing but pale, nude females, giving them enjoyment, can end up causing so much animosity towards the real thing. It's like in their mind; a perfect, sculpted version of a woman is seen instead of a grotesque, disfigured creature that exists under them. A beauty beyond compare, as Miroku would quote it, only lies inside a man's mind. While in the real world, women are considered ugly, full of scars externally and internally. Their bodies are never right; never fully perfect. Always judged, never neglected. Still, we've always been there for them. But we're never good enough for their minds.

They want a goddess but always end up with me. Mutilated and abandoned.

For years it has been this way.

* * *

Maybe it is because I have seen death on both sides. It interests me. Death is the reason I am alive. Without death, we were never born. I suppose this began when I was six years old, my obsession with death, when I saw members of my own family being slain by the creatures I loathed. Their bodies covered with the stench of their own blood. Still, they looked peaceful. I don't know what propelled me-curiosity, maybe- but all I could do was eye-ball the deep, long lacerations on their necks.

Shocked is a biased term. I was not shocked when I saw them being murdered but envious. They had left me behind as they escaped these troubled times. I would've followed but my soul seemed too attached to this world. My father always told me I had an old soul. Maybe that was his way in saying I would die young. But he lied when they left and I didn't.

I ended in a smaller village later on. The people there found me bizarre since I didn't speak a word. They never felt sorry for me, only hateful and bitter. It was there when I first felt the hard slap of a twined rope, resulting in a long, red scar on my back. It was punishment for stealing food from the reserve. This was my first signature of deformity.

The children there weren't any better. Often laughing and teasing me with abhorrent words that should be washed out with soup. I never understood why they beat me- I'm unusual, I suppose- but they never stopped.

I remember one day running from the children and not noticing a knife sticking out awkwardly on its sitting position on a tree stump, cutting into my upper leg with aggression. I also remember the smell of blood and the tedious pain that came with it. Murmurs of villager's voices crowded me as I lay bleeding on the ground; hoping death would soon come, only to be astonished by waking up in my hay- covered bed the next day with a blood-soaked bandage covering my injury, adding yet another defect to my small body.

The few men of the village did start eyeing me too. Only a couple times a day, but it soon grew more suspicious. It wasn't until they captured me, teaching me the correct ways to please a man, when they only watched me as their prey. I was no grown woman, only a child, but in their malicious eyes they didn't seem to care. It was only when they slapped and punched me for misbehaving when I realized their true intentions. They said they wouldn't kill me, only beat me. Still, even in their drunken state, I did what I was told. Their poison breath filling the air, making me do the same things women do to their husbands. It was revolting, only making me hate the human race even more.

It wasn't until I found him, resting under a large, oak tree deep in the forest, that my life was about to change. His face reminded me of glass- so fragile, but beautiful- with alien markings on his forehead and cheeks. His long, silver hair suggested non-human, too perfect to even exist. Maybe it was curiosity that pushed me to him, making sure he wasn't a dream.

Though once he showed his true nature, I was convinced enough he was no dream but a nightmare in a child's mind. A demon, who's tales have been told over campfires for years to frighten children away from dark forests, with deep red eyes of a killer and fangs which can rip a body into two from the very sight.

At first, I was confused by his actions. Usually they would pounce at the sight of their pray, then I realized the state he was in. He was beaten up like me- scarred and dirty. Once I got close to him, his face calmed into an expression of serenity. I knew then, he meant no harm.

He was not like the other men. He did not want pleasure, but peace. Demon he may be, I trusted him more than anyone. He reminded me a lot of myself-quiet and dark- like he had a story behind his stoic expression while I had one behind my smile.

It felt right being near him. I cared not if he didn't eat what I brought, I was only happy with his presence. Even when the village men caught me again, stealing from the reserve, beating me until I was good and bruised, I was still happy to help him gain his health back. One of us had to.

When he first spoke to me, his voice sounding like smooth velvet or soft snow, I knew he cared. Though, I never replied, I stood there and tried to mentally give a picture in his mind. From the pain I had endured, to the meeting him- the stranger who cared-, I never imagined he would asked why. Why I was covered with purple and green blotches on my skin, or why I had scratches on my face, arms, and legs. Why I smelled like dried blood and feces from sleeping in the dirt. I never answered his question, only smiled.

It had been the first time in years since I smiled. I was happy for once.

Only when the demon wolves first attack did I change. I witnessed, again, as the villagers were slaughtered. Be it karma from all their wrong doing, they didn't deserve it. Lives are sacred. They are to be taken care of delicately. Even from evil men, who has sinned all their lives, never deserve to die. Everyone should get a second chance.

Still, even when I ran, searching for the stranger who cared, I knew death was upon me. But death interest me, it did not frighten me. I was always curious on what was on the other side- what awaited me. Would there be a bright light, or only darkness? Whoever thought I would get a second chance though? Walking up in the stranger who cares' arms; I knew I must've been worth something to him. Maybe when the squawking, green toad called the stranger by his name- a killing perfection- I knew I could follow.

When I traveled with him, I never spoke of my past and neither did he. Most times he was quiet and only spoke when necessary. After a brief moment of silence, during which his eyes drifted towards the horizon or a spot elsewhere, would he answer Jaken's absurd questions.

But even after months of following him, I would wonder why he didn't eat humans. Be it because of me, I wouldn't know, I was nothing more than a child. I didn't understand the concepts of demon laws. That was until he came back late, his mouth covered with blood, when I asked what occurred. He didn't speak but only stare, mentally telling me to not ask. To me, I understood and that was good enough.

I had only seen him in battles a few times; it never bothered me to see dead bodies, so I didn't care. I only watched him as he used a long, green whip to slaughter his victims. Insects, he called them, thinking they could ever defeat the great Lord Sesshomaru. I agreed; nothing could defeat him.

What still bothered me was why he kept me around for so long. Jaken wondered the same thing and often yelled at me to go away. But every time the toad yelled, he would be punished. So I never asked.

Being with him though, I felt intact. Something I hadn't felt for a while. Being with him, I felt like no man could ever touch me again. Being with him helped erase all the scars away, hiding it under a lock and key. Happiness was all I felt for a very long time.

I was only eight years old when I fell in love with him. Foolish, was I; believing something so pure. I wanted to feel it; crave it like no other. I already knew so much already, why couldn't I have it?

Love is such a connotative word. It means so many different things. Love was what I felt towards my family. Love was what I felt towards my new clothes. But this love was different. This love was beyond anything I have felt. This love was overwhelming, but I could never have it.

Lord Sesshomaru told me once that he despises humans. That they are lower than the ground he walks on and would never love one. He shattered my heart from those words, opening a locked box that hid my scars. I knew then I was worthless to him. Still, I followed with a smile.

It wasn't until death came to me a second time that I knew my time with him was slowly coming to an end. I was glad that my spirit could be free from all this torment and resentment. But when I came back to the land of the living, I was confused. Lord Sesshomaru was there; his cool gaze settled on me, tell me I was alright. I could not understand why he brought me back if I was nothing to him.

My question was answered that night when he pulled me away from camp, telling me I was to stay in the village below.

"But why?" I asked, shaking. Only I knew the answer, I was a burden, though he would not say it out loud. I knew him well enough to know he would never hurt my feelings.

"I don't need to explain myself."

Yet he had, - mentally, of course- telling me I was worthless and a waste of his time. He had brought me back out of guilt, that's the only reason. No matter what I did, what I said, there was no switching his mind. I was going to be abandoned and seen as an incongruous being yet again.

Maybe he knew my future was filled with darkness and destruction that there was no need for me to follow. Maybe he secretly knew of my past and thought of me as a disfigured creature as well. Or maybe it was for a whole other reason. Whatever it may be, I was all alone once again.

Then I cried. For the first time in years, I showed weakness. Even when I was abused, I would never cry, because I knew what it meant and I knew for them, it would only make them kick harder. My father even once told me to never show fear and I followed his advice. But now, I didn't care. I didn't care what would happen to me. I was no longer under protection of the great Lord Sesshomaru. I was abandoned, discarded, rejected.

I was lost.

Adding yet another scar to my already mangled and tattered soul.

* * *

Should I continue?

.:Sapphire:.


	2. II: Misfortune

**Disclaimers: **Any characters of Rumiko Takahashi's don't belong to me.

**Midnight In Summer**

By: December Sapphire

"_Everything happens for a reason but the hard part is finding out what the reason is"-_Unknown

**Chapter II**

**"Misfortune"**

I want to be cremated when I die.

Feel the flames burn my flesh into nothing. I would always watch when they incinerated the corpses of a person, envious still of their freedom. Wishing I could leave in the ashes that flew into the sky and save my tormented soul from this agony.

After death, skin starts to dry up and evaporate. Eyes sink into the skull. Cheeks contract. It shows a true beauty of women. This was what men really craved - a lifeless, rotting corpse, giving them pleasure in every way humanly possible. Maybe if I was dead, I would look more beautiful, then they wouldn't beat me anymore. I would finally be the goddess they wanted and not some worthless piece of garbage they threatened to throw away every day. But that is not what I wanted to be.

I wanted to be cremated and non-existent. I wanted my body to disappear from the world forever. I was not interested in what my future held or what I looked like; only death interests me.

One day, generations from now, all of this will be gone. The small huts will be replaced with bigger, more structured, buildings and our population will triple in size, making more excuses to ruin the natural environment and turning it into a waste land. The world will turn into a hazardous abyss with an atrocious smell- Inuyasha once said. He should know. He's seen the future.

At the age of seventeen, I still couldn't fathom my importance. My soul seemed to never want to die, only live in this never ending nightmare. So whenever I watch the villagers burn the deceased, I imagine it is me instead.

Beside me, the stench of alcohol alerts me to my visitor. The 45-year-old man with anemic skin and dark greasy hair, his hands dry and rough from years working in the field, spends his day's drunk and sneaking glances at every girl he sees- including me. He was the man who took my body almost every night, adding even more scars then I could count. He was my guardian, my protector, my enemy.

"Shouldn't you be working?" Asking the same question to me every day and adding fuel to the fire in my soul. His rough, hoarse voice cracking with every word, ruined long ago from smoking tobacco for years.

_Shouldn't you be dead? _I wanted to say. "I am taking a break, Akuma."

"Well now you're not taking a break," he spat in my face. "Get back to the fields."

My eye never left the beautiful, crimson flames. It compelled me to touch the invisible heat- curiosity, I supposed. But I knew if I touched its beauty, I would be cursed yet again- adding to my deformity. I didn't care though, if my body looked strange. People already stared at me like I was an alien and I knew Akuma would never let me go. To the villagers, I was only his innocent, adopted daughter; always quiet, showing a small smile to convince them I was fine.

Fine is a fabricated term. Fine doesn't mean anything to me, it doesn't exist. Every morning I would wake up and wash the dried blood that was tattooed on my skin from the night before. Apply ointment to abrasions and knife cuts. Only then would I cover it with make-up to hide all evidence of his beating. If anyone asked how I was doing, my answer would always be fine.

I remember once telling a friend of mine what Akuma does to me. We were hitting the age of twelve, almost old enough to be courted. When I told the horrors of my nights, her mouth gapped open becoming a homemade fly trap. The next day, however, I watched her desiccating body- so beautifully decorated in flowers- being buried. I knew for a fact Akuma was to blame. Since then I only spoke when addressed.

That night I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrist with a small pocket knife, wanting nothing but freedom. But he had caught me, whispering lightly into my ear that I was his. My soul was his. My body was his. Everything was his. He said I would not die, only beaten to death if I didn't behave, and if someone saw, he would make an excuse.

I was nothing but a play toy to him. Even when he found me in the woods that night, lost and forgotten, I was still only his play toy. Understand now why I went back to his home. It was all about protection. I wanted protection, craved it like no other. I've realized now that I wanted protection from myself. Maybe I was fearful of breaking down again, crying. Still, how foolish was I to believe in such a lie; to believe that Akuma was cordial and sympathetic. If only I didn't follow him that night, maybe I would be lying six feet underground like my friend or maybe my ashes would be scattered over a growing meadow. Maybe I would be free.

Still, I was propelled to enter his dark, malicious home that night, not knowing the true intentions of his perverted mind. This was the sincere beginning of my misfortune.

I was used to it- the things he asked me to do. He threatened me; he wouldn't kill, only torture. But I was worthless so it didn't really matter what would happen to me.

The size of his large cock was bigger than both my hands. I had to do a presentable job or endure more pain then I was already in. I was fortunate to have experience in the field already because Akuma expected the best. And as he released all over my hands, he patted my head; congratulating me in a job well done. Unbeknownst to me, I had become his new whore.

I lost my virtue when I turned nine. I still remember the agonizing pain in my abdomen, trying not to scream or cry as Akuma pushed through my barrier with aggression. Like I said, crying was a sign of weakness. I was not weak. So I did not cry.

It was when I turned twelve; I began to spot the clues of womanhood. Blood had pooled below me, hinting I was fertile. I had heard from the older girls in the village-fourteen, and engaged- that they had gotten their first period, their voices filled with excitement. While I was only twelve, wishing I hadn't seen the first spots of blood. Call it a curse because once Akuma found out, my sexual nights with him doubled. He told me I had become a woman and all women deserved to be pleasured.

Can woman my age say she's never been kissed? Yes, because believe it or not, it was true. I've never felt soft lips upon mine before. When I was little, I daydreamed Lord Sesshomaru would be my first kiss. But when Akuma took my virginity, my daydream disappeared into the abyss. Still, even after all my rounds, I never knew the feeling. Akuma only kissed me in my private areas, never on my face. He says my face disgusts him and that is okay because I didn't mind. The feelings were mutual, he disgusts me too.

A throbbing pain on the side of my head brings me out of my thoughts. The smell of alcohol still reeks beside me, urging me to barf. It was revolting how much this man drank and smoked. "Didn't you hear me you whore?" his words like venom in my ears. "Get back to work."

Without a word I left hoping that one day the devil will come for him and he'll burn in hell.

I've thought about killing. Watching the blood pool from a tattered corpse, the body turning the color of pale white snow mixed with red; thinking it would benefit with my life. But I've realized that it's too easy- to end one's life. I would be doing them a favor by setting them free while I remain on this unhealthy planet.

As I work in the fields, I don't speak. The men stare at me like they always do; imagining a perfect goddess underneath these copper stained rags. But once they see the real me- the deformed, alien body- underneath, I know they will run. Only Akuma remains like a shadow lurking. I might have a pretty face-one boy has told me- but I'm nothing more than pessimistic human under this smile.

Below the fields, I have the perfect view of the ever-growing village of Takayama. The small huts sway in the strong wind from the improper construction, and the unbalanced terrain causes building to slant at an awkward angle. The U-shaped valley protects the community from any suspicious outsiders and because we are in the Western lands, no one dares to come near without being punished by the Western Lord. Only traders and merchants with special permits are granted inside. But because of the dangerous landscape, the town is isolated from the world.

Once-a few months back- I saw a mutilated body near the forest edge only a few hundred yards were I work in the fields. Envious of the attack, I found out it had been a bandit and was clearly marked with long, deep, bloody scratch marks of a demon. This was the first time in almost a decade I found evidence of Sesshomaru's presence and his where bouts. He was in the area.

I did go look for him a few times a week but only got so far until Akuma found out and punished me for trying to escape. Still, I managed to sneak by for an hour or two while he was passed out drunk. I have yet to find more evidence of the demon being in the region.

The work days were usually protracted; slaving away in the fields for as long as twelve hours a day with almost no breaks in between. Whenever I was good, Akuma would allow ten minute breaks. I made approximately one copper piece per hour and it was usually spent by Akuma for his alcohol, tobacco, and a little food for me. He doesn't work and says it's a woman's job to provide but rarely do I see that around the village.

Back in the field, I wipe the sweat from my face while the beating sun colors my skin a light pink. Effects the summer holds in these lands. The heat can get so treacherous for the human body that can start to wither away on account of dehydration and lack of nutrients. I sometimes see it in the village- men, woman, and children lying in the streets, drinking out the same small water canister. The river isn't far away either-only a few miles- but a scarcity of energy from the body can weaken it to a point where it's impossible shift into a standing position. Summer is the most fatal season, killing almost a two dozen people per year. Then I wonder how long will I remain in this place before I'm officially free.

Forever. That is the answer.

A loud rustling in the bushes nearby bring me out of my thoughts, turning my attention on the mysterious movement. Who would dare to come near this village while in this heat? Small, wild demons perhaps? Still, the Western Lord would know, cutting down even the smallest of demons. What surprises me was who was actually lurking in the bushes. A familiar face, someone I haven't seen for almost a decade.

Last time I saw him was back before I was abandoned. He was sitting around a small campfire, resting from the daily events that occurred. His body had changed. He was no longer a scrawny child but a toned man. His long black hair hung high in a ponytail, letting a few pieces fly free and sticking on his face from the heat. He had grown immensely- towering at about a solid six feet- making any woman want him. As much as I wanted to throw myself at him, I couldn't let myself fall and be seen by the others. They would report it to Akuma who would punish me severely.

I had no choice but to keep working and hope he would not notice me.

"Excuse me," his deep voice fills my ears. He's definitely not the same Kohaku I knew. His voice made my body tingle all over, - not as intense as when Sesshomaru spoke- alerting me of his close presence. "Can you direct me to where the headman of Takayama lives?"

I keep my head low, averting my eyes from his gaze. "I'm sorry. I can't."

There's a slight pause before he gasps out. My cover has been blown. "Rin? Is…Is that you?"

"No," I lied, mumbling to the ground. "You've mistaken me for someone else."

I needed to get away from him quick. I noticed some of the field workers, friends of Akuma, stare at me and the visitor. I knew they would tell Akuma and my night would be nothing but pure pain and pleasure.

His strong hands grab my shoulders, trying to find a chance to see my changed face. "Rin, I know it's you. You want to know why? Because I've only heard one person speak in the same musical voice as yours."

He dropped his hands and inclined his head to catch my face hidden under my knotted and dirt ridden hair. "I'm sorry," pushing him away, "I have to go."

I knew running away was a sign of weakness but I couldn't fathom what Akuma's friends would do if I stayed near Kohaku any longer. The actions that were seen already were probably going to result in consequences I was way too familiar in. Still, I didn't want to push it any farther.

I ran brisk down the slanted topography, praying Kohaku wouldn't follow. I should've known from the lack of speed and amateurish run that he would catch up. He caught me again in the village, blocking my path. He griped my arm eagerly, clearly demanding answers. "Rin, can you just stop?" he asked with force.

I didn't answer. I couldn't with all these eyes on us. Passing villagers eyed us suspiciously probably wondering why a demon slayer suddenly dropped in unannounced and was forcefully grabbing my arm. My arm twisted in his grip, trying to free itself from the hold. He was too strong and won easily.

"Kohaku," I whispered, making no eye contact. "Please let go."

My eyes surveyed the area quickly, making sure there were no shadows.

"Rin…"

I kept my voice low leaning closer into him without making it seem like we knew each other. "Listen carefully; meet me in the forest by the large oak tree before sundown. Don't be seen. I'll explain everything then."

In one move, I removed myself from him; running around the corner and away from his sight.

* * *

On nights like these I'm content that Akuma drinks a lot. He was out with his friends which meant I was free for a few hours.

The sun was disappearing over the valley hills when I left the hut. The summer breeze-now cooler- swayed in the trees. The leaves danced in a rhythm nobody can understand. Trunks creaked in response. Birds nested into the safety of their homes for the night, protecting the young ones from unwanted predators.

However, the night was my favorite time of the day. The sun hid from the world, waiting again to shine. The twinkling stars would sparkle like diamonds in the sky. Even the moon-beautiful and bright-sometimes showed its beauty. Every time I glanced up and saw the white light of the moon, it would remind me of Sesshomaru and how he is under the same moon as I. Made me feel like I wasn't alone.

The night reminded me that even the day had life and eventually died. Everything dies. It's the circle of life. Maybe one day I'll be a part of it and won't have to watch the sun disappear into the horizon.

Kohaku arrived shortly after I did, his face filled with concern and worry. He shouldn't worry though, I was fine.

When he spoke, his voice was impatient and anxious. I could feel it radiating off of him. "Okay, I'm here. What happened to you Rin?"

"I thought you knew?" I answered low.

He remained silent, leaning against the oak tree comfortably. All that was heard were the nocturnal creatures singing their song.

"Why do we do this to ourselves," I muttered, biting my lip.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm curious Kohaku. Why don't I just escape? Why can't I forgive?" I paused before locking eyes with his. "Why am I still alive?"

"I don't understand-"

"What was going through your head when Sesshomaru returned without me?" I snapped hard, cutting him off. "Weren't you at all curious why he did what he did?"

"At first I was. He didn't speak when he returned, he just walked away. I could tell he was hurting, but I didn't understand until later why he left you. The answer was so simple. It was out of love."

His answer made me laugh. A smile, hurtful smile appeared on my face as anger poured in. "Love," I mumbled. "Love is such as senseless word. It doesn't exist on this planet. He didn't leave me out of love; he left me out of disgust. He knew what my future held and decided it was best to leave me in another unsettling village."

Kohaku shook his head slowly, walking towards me. "No, you're wrong. He left you here for your safety. He protects this village from predators. He makes sure you are safe. That's why he left you here."

He was wrong. Unconditionally wrong. His head was filled with nonsense from Sesshomaru. Yes, he watched over our village, but only because Takayama was a part of his lands and from what I've been told, the Lord of the West does not like trespassers. He wasn't doing it for me. He was doing it for himself- for his job.

The sun was disappearing over the hills fast. If I didn't make it back on time Akuma would find out. I had to leave quickly.

I held my breath, trying to contain the tears which threatened to call me weak. "Then ask him why he never returned for me? Ask him, after all of these years, why he's watched me being tormented and abused. Ask him if he loves me, why he has left me with those monsters."

"Rin…"

"I know he's been in the area Kohaku. If he wants to protect me, tell him to come and show his coward face to prove to me that he still cares, or tell him to never come again. I don't want to get my hopes up and believe I still matter in his life."

I knew Kohaku was speechless from the constant movement of his mouth with no audio. To think he could trick me into believing in such lies. It's barbaric! Demons have no feelings. They do not feel love or kindness. They do not care for others. They only feel guilt on rare occasions. Humans are the same except they enjoy fooling and joking around with emotions. Those are worse than demons and I consider them as monsters.

It was the calling of my name in a rough and enraged voice that caught my attention. It was Akuma. He has noticed my absence and was looking for me.

"Remember what I've said Kohaku," I reminded him, moving away. "If Sesshomaru want to believe I'm safe, make him come and see for himself. Goodbye for now."

I never looked back as I rushed to the village. Kohaku had to send the message to Sesshomaru. He was my only hope on escaping this prison and my fate.

Immediately upon arrival back at the hut, Akuma looked violently at me. He was drunk; it was clear to see from the sagginess of his tall form. The blood-shot eyes brightly noticed culminating from hours of drug and alcohol exposure. The toxic scent of his odor radiated off his body, undoubtedly showing signs of high drug usage. This was when Akuma's true self appeared, and who was he after?

Me.

I knew from that moment I was in for a harrowing and excruciating night full of prostitution and misfortune. Still, I was hoping for a rescue. I was always hoping for a rescue resulting in illusions of autonomy. Every time it always ended in disappointment because no one ever came looking.

* * *

Sesshomaru will be in the next chapter! So excited. Please review!

.:Sapphire:.


	3. III: Reconciliation

**Disclaimer: **Any characters of Rumiko Takahashi's don't belong to me.

**Midnight In Summer**

By: December Sapphire

_"Love is about letting go the fears that stand in front of out hearts"- _Marianne Williamson

**Chapter III**

**"Reconciliation"**

It was the evidence of the mangled body desiccating six feet underground when I knew Sesshomaru was near. He was a coward, I knew that much. If Kohaku gave him my message, I was convinced he would come and for the first time in almost a decade I'll come face to face with the stranger who abandoned me. Still, as much as my conscious earned for his warmed and protection, I was additionally torn in my heart by his leave-taking.

The morning broke, shining the bright rays through the small cracks in the run-down hut. Beside me Akuma snored loudly like a crow slowly becoming the soil beneath him- crying out for anybody to set him free. I'll be the same one day.

Akuma was hung over-again. He will be sleeping way past mid-sun today. I rolled over gingerly, hoping to not stir the rancid man beside me. I stood up laboriously, wincing from the slight sharpness in my abdomen and chest. The new wounds were tattooed clearly on my skin- a mark that I belonged to the devil. But the other thing that shook me was the sudden nauseous feeling increasing in my stomach. When I emptied the contents from the horrid sensation coming from my stomach, I knew something wasn't right. I counted off the days until my next cycle and froze in time when I was passed my due date.

I then begin to list off the symptoms of pregnancy.

I had only been pregnant a number of other times. First was when I was thirteen. I had told Akuma when I was four months in and found out the consequences of my actions. Today, I can still feel the strong concrete fist hitting my stomach, killing the growing fetus inside. The inner rage that flowed into me that day was incredible. I had thrown a knife at Akuma, resulting in a large gash on his left cheek. Even now the scar lingers, reminding him of the outcome of my madness. However, after this event occurred he did the same to me but on the stomach-engraving a large _X- _permanently leaving a symbol of a whore.

Giving birth to the dead fetus was more painful. Akuma had given me herbs to numb the pain but it still wasn't enough. I passed out before it came out and awoke a few hours later to hear he had burned the body.

The second time, I was only fifteen- mature enough to be a mother. Women my age already had a child carrying in their arms; still, I kept it a secret. I was fearful of my child succumbing to the same tragedy as the other. For eight months, all was silent. He didn't notice the bump since I made sure it was small and wore layers of clothing. But when the day the baby came, Akuma was not impressed. As much as I begged and pleaded him to spar my son's life, Akuma ignored. The baby's cry wailed through the hut as Akuma disappeared into the other room with the boy. Moments later there was no sound of cries, no sound of breathing. There was no life left in the body I had given birth to, and when I turned the corner, I found Akuma and the small infant's body under him with a large steel knife sticking out of his tiny chest.

The other few times I got pregnant from him, I would cause the miscarriage myself. My mentality couldn't take another outbreak from Akuma's rage. I would be a good girl in his presence and will always be.

This time however, I can't fathom my choice. While Sesshomaru is in the area, I may or may not have his protection. But if Akuma finds out, there may be more than just a simple punch in the stomach.

But what shook me up the most was spotting blood mixed in with the vomit- masses of blood. I coughed, experimenting on what might occur, but was taken back from the red coloring my hands. So the question began to rise in my head- what was going on?

I brushed it off thinking it as just a cut from last night's activities. With a quick change of clothes and a dab of make-up, I leave Akuma without notice and walk towards the forest edge. I knew I only had a few hours before I would have to arrive at work and once again get violently harassed by Akuma's friends, so I was willing to wrap this search up quickly. I just hoped Sesshomaru would be willing as well.

My legs moved as fast as they could under the painful feeling from the night before. After a few steps, my energy disappeared. It was so strange, what was going on with my body? It was like my body was starting to go down into a spiral after all those years of torture. Could my body be dying?

Then my lungs began to persecute me from dropping into a coughing attack. It felt like I was being stabbed in the chest. Few moments later my legs gave out, collapsing on the soft ground. After, I found the green, luscious grass stained with a deep red color. What did Akuma do to me?

My head felt very light and as I try to stand, my legs keep collapsing on me. Soon my body couldn't take it anymore. My muscles turned to lead. My mind grew black. Finally perhaps I will be free.

Please…let me go.

* * *

I knew it was in vain that death was upon me once again. There must be some kind of heavy burden upon my shoulders that my mind is trying to tell me to get rid of before my time came. The sounds of trees moving in the wind and songs only birds are able to accomplish was what awoke me. The soft grass tickled my skin like a bird's gentle feather. The dryness ache my throat, begging to be damped with water. Beside me a slight rustling alerted my senses for the natural noises and left me focused on the unknown sound only feet away.

To what it was or who it was shocked me with disbelief. His features haven't changed since the last time. His piercing, golden eyes still focused on the horizon, deep in thought. His long, silver hair remained beautiful showing off a soft glow in the summer sun. His facial marking- a dangerous signature- stood out perfectly sculpted. He is the stranger who cared, the man who haunted my dreams, the man who, out of everyone, I thought would come the save me. He is the man I loathed and who deeply directed me as a burden and a cripple. He is my first love, my first regret. The Western Lord everyone feared is nothing more than a stranger from my past, now remained only feet away.

"Why are you here?" my voice cracking from the dry feeling in my throat.

He is silent and remains so in a period of time. It isn't until I start to move up into a sitting position when I hear his voice for the first time. "You shouldn't move."

Still, I ignore his instructions and lean against a tree opposite of him. My eyes narrowed on everything about him. How could this demon be here in my presence? "Don't you have a kingdom to run?" I ask in a harsh tone.

Then his eyes land on me making me flinch slightly. For minutes all I feel his is the glare from his eyes. Was he testing me in some way?

The sun above casted shadows in the area alerting me to reality, that everything, including him, was all an illusion. He is not real, he never was. He is a figment in my mind, it is the only explanation. So I manage to stand on my feet. A warning growl came from the illusion, threatening me. I only ignored more.

It was passed sunrise and Akuma will surely know my absence. Without falter, I begin to walk away from my mind. But as soon as I pressure the ground with my feet, I loose sense in direction and gravity pulls me once again to the unforgiving ground. But something stops me. Strong arms are wrapped protectively around my body. "Foolish girl," he says.

He places me back against the tree and stares into the sky. Sometimes I wonder what goes through his mind. Even as a child, I was so curious what made him what he is today. "Why are you here?" I ask again, quieter than before.

"You requested my presence, did you not?"

I found it strange that he would come after one simple request from Kohaku. What did that boy tell him that made him come so quickly? "Many times," I commented.

His eyes land on me, remaining there. He is quite beautiful in my perspective. Still, this man is the one who abandoned me in the first place. Now here he stood trying to make amends.

"You are injured." This was no question he said to me but an observation. He could smell the foul scent of my blood lurking on my body. There is no doubt as well that he could sense the unexpected pregnancy.

"No, I'm not injured," I correct him. His eyes return back into the sky. Was he avoiding my gaze because he was feeling guilty of my suffering? "I'm pregnant."

Finally, his eyes land on me again, more serious this time. Slowly but surely he walks over, kneeling beside me. I shiver as his hands touch my leg, tracing up and carefully pulling away the tattered kimono. I slap his hand away. "That's not for you to see," I note. But he ignores my warning and continues his path up my inner thigh.

He stops at the top of them, narrowing his eyes slightly. The red markings Akuma signed with, tattooed my legs like slashes from a rope- another scar cursing me with deformity. "Were you raped?" he asks.

His question surprises me. "Why do you care?" I whisper with venom. He only looks deep within my eyes, demanding an answer. "Periodically."

"Who?"

I shake my head slightly, pulling my legs up into my chest and away from him. "I don't need to tell you. Last time I checked, you didn't give a damn about me." Again he only stares, demanding an answer. "I can't tell you."

"Rin…"

I stand again, supporting myself with the tree. "Look, I'm in no mood for reconciliation. You abandoned me in this forsaken place and I will never forgive you. Now I must leave before they try to look for me."

"Then I will remind you I only left you here for protection. Nothing more."

I nodded slightly. "Then I will remind you that after you left me I was left with years of torture and punishment. If you're here to save me, it's too late; I cannot be saved Lord Sesshomaru. Your job has been done for years. I am happy that you've come but I…I will never forget the moment when you left."

I left him, shuffling back into the brightness and heat of the pounding sun. I know I was going to get a beating from how much time I wasted. No matter how much I wish I could run away from this dire place, it will always return. It will return with nightmares. It will return with fears. I will never move on. If I ever returned to Sesshomaru, I know I will not want to live. My body and mind have suffered enough in this life. Suicide would be the only option in that moment. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

As soon as I arrived at the field, Akuma greets me with a smile. His smile usually meant persecution and misery. "Rin, my dear, where have you been?" he asks cheerfully. I know now why. Behind him one of the village elders stands tall and proud. Her grey hair dances in the wind and her smile reflects that of a lost childhood like mine.

"Hello Rin, how are you today?"

I greet her with a small smile to convince her life is full with happiness. "I'm well. Thank you."

"That's good. I'm here to warn Akuma of a demon in the area. There has been gossip that it's the Western Lord. Akuma and some of the other men have volunteered to go out and finally slay that intruding beast. Maybe once he is gone, our village will begin to be livelier and trade with other villages will begin again."

"I see," I reply, moving my glaze at Akuma.

He stood there smirking at me. I knew what he was thinking. He wanted me to suffer, to see Sesshomaru dead.

He knew everything.

"Good luck Akuma," the elder finished before walking back towards the village.

After she was out of sight Akuma's sinister voice whispered in my ear, "I know about you little outing this morning. I'll let you on a little secret girl, you are mine. You will never escape me while I'm alive and when your little demon lord is dead, you will no longer have to worry about him rescuing you. Don't try to hide anything you bitch. I know everything you do, everything you say, and everything you think about- I know it all. I wouldn't go running off again."

I knew he was aware of my past, probably from my muttering in my sleep, but if he went out to search for Sesshomaru, he would not survive. I don't care what happens to him. He deserves to be slaughter by the demon.

* * *

There is power in words.

There are words that bid us laugh and make us weep. Words that make us want to forgive and words that make us want to forget. There are words so beautiful they will shape our hearts, forever changing us, live inside us for as long as we have breath to speak them. There are words that are terrible and great and frightening. Words we wish never existed. Love is one of these words. There are true words.

Perhaps it was when Sesshomaru said the word _protection_ when my heart opened up again. Or maybe it was just his mere presence that enlightened me to feel the love for him once again. It was those feeling that made me want to keep on living.

It was only a matter of time until Akuma met his punishment and only then, maybe, I'll be able to return back to Sesshomaru. I knew it was going to be a rough life even with Akuma's absence but I was determined to try.

It was my time- my time to live.

* * *

Please review for more.

.:Sapphire:.


	4. IV: Absolution

**Disclaimer: **Any characters of Rumiko Takahashi's don't belong to me.

**Midnight In Summer**

By: December Sapphire

_"Love makes forgiveness easier"- _Unknown

**Chapter IV**

**"Absolution"**

Energy is phony.

It doesn't exist in my life. Like life itself doesn't exist. It is nothing more than a mere fragment of my dreams, haunting me away from reality. Energy only survives in my dreams- an illusion. Even dreams- fantasies-, alluring and captivating, can draw someone away from reality, stealing the energy and killing the body from the inside. That was me in the moment- between fantasy and reality. No energy existing.

What was keeping me up was Sesshomaru's presence.

I'd decided to give Sesshomaru another chance, ignoring the stabbing wound in my heart. To escape from this place would be a dream come true. The nightmares would come-I was sure- but perhaps with him by my side they would be only memories.

The suffocating ache in my chest was what awoke me in the morning, steering Akuma by my side. I took no effort to quietly get out of bed as I rushed out into the summer air, filling my lungs with oxygen. It felt like a tight grip surrounded my lungs, pressuring them to stop working. A coughing attack erupted after, shocking me into disbelief to see the grass stained with blood once again. I had come to the conclusion I was sick and with what? –A mystery.

I had also felt the symptoms of pregnancy, throwing up what little I had in my stomach. Clear fluids covered the bloody grounds, making me weak on impact. Akuma retreated out into the open moments later, yelling, and screaming at me about not being quiet; slapping me hard and calling me a sick, little whore. I've yet to tell Akuma of the pregnancy and didn't dare to say a word.

Akuma had left early morning- after my incident- to search for the intruding beast that stalked the forest- the Western Lord. I kept my mouth shut only nodding as he instructed me to stay in the village. Silently I prayed- prayed for Akuma's karma as well as the rest of his bastard friends. Once they were taught a lesson, I would leave, permanently.

I played with the children that day, following Akuma's orders carefully. Since every one of his friends had gone off with him, he had given me a day of freedom. The only day of freedom I had, but I don't consider today freedom. I still consider today to be a prisoner.

The connection that returned to me, hit at forces I couldn't explain. These were the same connections I felt towards Sesshomaru back when I was considered his ward. The locked box that held my feeling opened up once more, allowing me to smile at the village children. This was the first time in a while I showed a real smile.

"You seem so lively today, Rin," an elder woman commented, softly.

I smiled small. "It's a good day. I can feel it."

More wrinkles appeared on her face as her mouth turned upwards. "I think we all have that feeling Rin. Your guardian and his friends are finally going to slay the Western Lord, someone who has been haunting our lands for some time now. We'll finally be free to roam the valleys once more. Maybe some of our villagers won't succumb to disease and we can get our medicine from the other villages. It is a good day Rin and all thanks to Akuma. You're so lucky to have him take care of you."

My smile disappeared, replaced by a single fear in the pit of my stomach. What if Akuma was successful? No, my mind had to stop telling me foolish possibilities. There was no way Sesshomaru would be killed by the likes of Akuma.

The heating sun of summer rained upon us with unbearable exposure. Gods above made it clear they wanted us to suffer, to die. It was irrelevant to do anything but sit and wait. I am provided with water from Akuma and his psychotic mind to keep me alive. He would do anything to keep me living in his care. Still, while he is gone I secretly give small amounts to children and elderly. Their lives are much more precious than mine. They were like a dying leaf on a branch waiting to be blown away from the autumn wind while I was that one leaf- that one green leaf on the top that always remained.

I would be cursed to remain on this earth until deemed fit that I could no longer be of use.

Maybe if I was plagued with a dying disease, Akuma would leave me alone to die. Or perhaps he would kill me himself to save me from the suffering. I doubt it though. Knowing him, he will enjoy my suffering if I ever afflicted with a disease.

As I walk back to the run-down hut, I'm once again inflicted with a coughing spasm. It taunts my body, giving it chills as sweat builds up. Energy decreases. Lungs tighten. Head spins uncontrollably. Blood remains on the ground after the event. My sight darkens as I am thrown to the ground and pushed into the deep abyss.

* * *

I awaken a few hours later, the beating sun radiating on my skin; burning it slightly. Beside me, a soft hum of a breath. A large amount of white fur covers my slight from the visitor but I know who it is. "Shouldn't you be running?" I gasp out.

Golden eyes peer down to me. Face emotionless as always. "No. There is no need."

"But Akuma and…"

He stares off into the distance, thinking. "They are fools if they could ever hunt me down."

We say no more. The only sound is the rustling of the trees behind us and the song of bugs in the distant field. We are at the edge of the meadow, overlooking the village. Behind us, the dense forest shadows mysterious creatures, but I am not scared. Sesshomaru is here. I sit up; staring idly at the old village below, wishing it could burn.

"I envy them," I mutter, keeping my vision on the houses.

"Explain."

"When their village burns one day, they will burn too. But I won't. I'll be left behind, like I always am. Alone."

"Strange creatures humans are," Sesshomaru comments.

I glance at Sesshomaru- curious, I guess- wondering what he meant by his words. "What makes us so strange?"

"The way you live," he explains. "Humans seem to fear death and yet they do not think of it. You're species fight to survive and die easily of that from the sun and heat- weaklings. You however seem to not pay mind to it. You seem to not care."

I revert back to the village. "Death is but a dream of mine- nothing more. It's something out of my reach. I do not care what I will encounter on the other side. All I care is to be free from my fate."

"Hn."

I breathe in the natural air of the area. The smell of smoke and other human interactions pollutes it, giving off an unnatural scent. I couldn't imagine Kagome's world and the amount of human activities that create it.

Another question comes into mind as we continue our gaze of the landscape. "Why did you save me?" He raises an eyebrow, confused what I meant. I would have to narrow it down. "When I died from the wolves, why did you bring me back to the land of the living?"

"You interest me," he answers, shortly.

"Interest?"

"You aren't like other humans I've come across in my time. You didn't seem to mind what I was."

I nod, understanding. "I am different. I've always been different. I never saw myself as one of them. I saw myself as just me- as Rin- an undying mortal. But I've always thought you saved me out of guilt."

"I didn't save you out of guilt. Guilt is a human emotion. It doesn't exist in my life."

"So what compelled you? There must've been one thing that interests you about me."

He doesn't speak, only narrows his eyes onto the horizon of the valley. The wind dances through his hair, twisting his tresses and making the sunlight shimmer off the silver strains.

His voice is in a low hum as a slight twerk of his mouth rises. "Your smile," he finally answers.

My heart leaps. Warmness shadows the dark emitting in my body. I am feeling happy. "I must go," I mumble, not wanting to leave but knowing Akuma, he'll be aware of my visit. "You should leave the area. I don't wish to see you hurt."

"Do you not trust that I can defeat those humans?"

"Please, don't kill them. They might be horrible humans but they've taken care of me thought these years. Only make them suffer. Make them know what it's like to feel pain."

"I understand. But they shall be taught a lesson if I come across them."

I smile small. "Thank you."

"Rin, meet me by the river tonight. I must tell you something."

My heart flutters again, more lively then the last, curious to know what it might be. Could he be taking me away? I nod, quickly; responding to his order.

"Rin," he calls me, again. "I apologize for abandoning you. It was wrong and I understand your hatred towards me."

I face him, standing only an inch from his body. I place a hand on his cheek, caressing the demonic strips with my thumb. "I've forgiven you." It is a peaceful moment of absolution so I lean up and kissed him softly on the cheek. He makes no motion of it ever happening but I however was left blushing. Then I let go and wander back into the village without a care for what I might come across.

* * *

Akuma came home late, unaware of my actions earlier. One glance at me told me there was no intercourse tonight. He left a few minutes later, probably to get drunk. This gave me a chance to slip out quickly and meet Sesshomaru at the rendezvous point by the river.

My thin sandals trudge through the bushes, tripping every few seconds from a sneaky root sticking up above the ground. As I arrive at the clearing where the river is located I spot the Western Lord watching the bright moon above. I walked over to him quietly, my feet crunching against the green grass.

"You came," he mutters, his eyes no leaving the sky.

The moon reflects off his body, giving it a natural glow that made be shiver. He was beautiful and looked exactly the same as he did when I was small. The light from the moon also mirrored off the flowing river. Fireflies danced in an everlasting romance. Twinkling of diamonds in the sky shined in the heavens. The night was breathtaking.

"I was curious what you had to say," I whispered, coming up beside him.

"Something as come across me as being strange. It was something you told me."

Now I'm confused. What have I said to him that came across as strange? I'm scared to know. Still, I listen to what he has to say.

"It's when you told me about your pregnancy," he confesses.

"W-what about it?"

"Demons, like me, have a tendency to smell changes in others. I am aware your scent has changed but…"

I glance up at him, wondering what he was thinking. "Lord Sesshomaru?"

He breathes out calmly as if he is about to tell a confession.

"You are not pregnant, Rin."

* * *

Comments are welcome.

review please

.:Sapphire:.


	5. V: Vengeance

**Disclaimer: **Any characters of Rumiko Takahashi's don't belong to me.

**Midnight In Summer**

By: December Sapphire

_"Before I sought truth. Now I seek justice"-_ Sophia Jordan

**Chapter V**

**"Vengeance"**

Skin prickling. Flinching at shadows. Teeth clenched so tight they ache. I am angry and I don't know why. Perhaps Akuma has done something to the baby. No, he would have to know about the pregnancy first. Then perhaps it was what Sesshomaru said. I wasn't pregnant? -Impossible. The symptoms were correct. Unless… "So…I really am ill."

He shows no emotion in the dark. In the distance, clouds rumble; lighting up with fierce momentum. Moon hides. Fireflies flee. Everything has turned to dust. This is a living nightmare. But that's okay. Life is nothing more than a nightmare to me.

"Your smell is different of that from pregnancy. It was the-"

"Blood," I calmly interrupt as my brain races. "You can smell my blood."

"The blood holds an infection radiating off your lungs- the main area of the illness."

I nod slowly, sitting down on the lush grass. Heart beats rapidly against skin. Brain freezes. Breathing hitches. Eyes fill with tears, pouring down my cheek slowly. I sob, first soft and light, then full and hard, turning into a break down.

Sesshomaru doesn't move, only watches. The storm clouds in the distance draws closer, already rain starts to pour. The summer moon disappears and hides like a coward. Water drips on us, soaking our skin and hair. Even in a summer storm though, he's still beautiful.

He walked over, kneeling down beside me, wrapping his fur around my body. My tears mix in with the rain, making it impossible to know I am hurt. Flashes of light ignite the sky and clouds in a purple glow, pounding like drums seconds later.

"Am I going to die?" I whisper.

Sounds of thunder answer. Sesshomaru's voice is hidden, and I am barley able to make out his words. Only one stands out. "…Possibly."

I should be rejoicing in the fact my life would end but since Sesshomaru came back, I finally had a reason to live. I wasn't ready to die. Not yet.

My body started to shake, shivering in the rain. Sesshomaru pulled me closer; making my heart beat faster than a humming bird's wings. The close proximity made me a little happier and I was glad that he was the one who told me the truth.

What worried me though was Akuma. He would find out my condition sooner or later. What would he do?

By now, he will be looking for me. I would definitely be punished from running and no doubt he would know who I was with. Perhaps it was time to fight back-to stand up for myself and not take any more from him.

"I want to fight," I mumbled, my voice shaking.

"Rin, you are ill…"

"I know!" I separate from him and watch the flashing bolts of lightning hit the slopes of the valley. "But I need to do this…not just for me but for all those other women who've manipulated by those beasts!"

He stands and I can distinctively see his glowing eyes in the dark. His long silver hair drenched in water-another characteristic of his outstanding beauty. "As you wish."

From my short time with him I knew what those words meant. It was his way in saying 'go for it and I'll have your back.' Maybe the stranger who cared has returned to me.

"Can I return to you once this is over?" I ask, my body shaking tremendously.

He peers over into the purple clouds, his gaze unreadable as always. I don't know what he will say. I don't know what he will do. But when he gives me that one nod-that one short nod, I know I am safe.

I smile, sniffling from the aftermath of my tears. "Thank you."

The downpour slowed into a light drizzle. The thunder clouds retreated, surrendering itself from the battle, uncovering the lost moon. It shins down, giving us a bright path. Tree leafs twinkled in the light from the small raindrops remaining- one of the beautiful anomalies about summer. But soon the summer will turn red with blood.

I wished for Akuma not to die but maybe he deserved it. He almost killed me numerous of times and abused my deformed body for years. So maybe it was time. Maybe it was time to get vengeance.

If I couldn't do it though, no doubt Sesshomaru would. He was being hunted by those men so maybe I wouldn't be the only one seeking revenge. Besides, Sesshomaru doesn't stand for people like that. He kills anyone who thinks they can mess with him.

We were close to the village now, just ten minutes out. Whatever lies ahead, it won't be good, but it ends tonight.

I keep my gaze on Sesshomaru's figure a few feet ahead of me. His hair glistened in the moonlight, still damp from the shower. I've always loved his hair and wondered how he kept it so beautiful.

The tightness in my chest returns to me, it grows, getting tighter and tighter every second. I suddenly stop as I feel stabbing pains in my side. Then the coughing starts, first clear and harmful but it soon turned bloody and painful. Sesshomaru is at my side, holding my hair as blood escapes my mouth. I am now throwing up nothing but blood, leaving me weak with little or no energy.

"You have a fever," he voice reaches my ears. "You must leave this place."

I shiver, whipping the blood from my mouth. "I must finish what needs to be done first."

"Do not argue with me Rin…" he struggles with the words but remains silent.

I know what he really wants to say. He's doing it to protect me. Still, this is my war and I will fight until I draw my last breath.

"No," I snap, pushing away from him and running as fast as I can to the village.

I trip a few times, leaving my knees raw and muddy. My feet are in the same condition, having them covered with scratches, blisters, and bruises. I cannot tell if Sesshomaru is following and maybe if he is, I wasn't going to stop and surrender.

The villagers are already asleep in their huts but as I draw closer to mine, the light is on. Akuma is inside, I know it- probably drinking- waiting for me. I stop a few hundred meters away. Beside me a small knife rest on a stump. I pick it up slowly, clenching it in my hand hard- my knuckles turn white. I approach the entrance slowly, opening the shoji door. Inside it is warm, a small lantern is lit in the corner and sitting near it is Akuma, drinking and sharpening a hatchet.

"I was wondering if you would come back," he says to me.

"I'm here to tell you that I'm leaving," I reply, my attitude calm.

He chuckles, standing up on his feet. "Is that so? Where you going to go? -Back to your little demon friend. You think he wants you? You are nothing more than an orphaned whore." I back up, holding my knife out in defence. "What are you going to do with that?" he asks, pointing to my small blade. "You goin' to kill me?"

I remain still, keeping myself stable. "Perhaps."

He laughs this time, coming closer to me. "You can't kill me girl. You know why? –Because you don't have the guts. I've been taking care of your ass for the last ten years. I've clothed you, fed you, and even given you attention. I've been good to you, you worthless bitch. So drop the knife before I make you," he threatens, holding up his hatchet. "You belong to me. Don't forget."

But I wasn't going to stand for anymore bullshit. "No," I answer with stamina. "I'm sick, I'm dying, and before I leave, you will pay for everything you've done. This is going to end here."

"Whoa, I guess you do have the guts. But it doesn't matter now because unfortunately, I no longer have use for you." Time seems to slow down then. I see Akuma bring up his axe, ready to strike but before he brings it down, he is blown back with force, crashing into the crates stacked up against the wall.

I turn to see Sesshomaru, standing there with Bakusaiga in hand. He must've used it enough to throw him backwards. He sheaths it and we both focus on Akuma who is struggling. Then I see it, a piece of wood sticking out awkwardly out of his left shoulder. Blood oozes down and onto the floor below.

Sesshomaru stands in front of me, holding his right hand out and revealing his toxic poison from deep within his body. The green gas radiates off the claws, preparing to destroy its victims.

"Go ahead you monster!" Akuma spats out. "Kill me!"

Sesshomaru pauses before pulling back his hand. "No, I only kill those who deserve to die by my hands. You are nothing and lower than an insolent insect beneath my feet. Besides, I'm not the one who's supposed to kill you."

He backs away to give me a view of Akuma. Sesshomaru nods at me, mentally telling me to kill him. I grasp my knife, preparing to kill.

"You've caused me nothing but pain," I whisper to Akuma with venom. "I've been your slave, your toy, and you've given me nothing. I've been with you for ten years but no longer will I stay. You can rot in hell for all I care!" I brought the knife down but struck wood centimeters by his head. "But I'm not going to have the burden of murder on my shoulders. You do deserve to die…but not by my hands."

Akuma suddenly starts to laugh. I am confused by his actions and move closer to Sesshomaru. "You think you can run from me? I'm everywhere Rin. No matter how far you go, I will always be there. I'll be there in your dreams. When you're awake, I'll be there, haunting your every thought. And most of all, when you die, I'll be there waiting on the other side. You will never get rid of me."

Then his bloody hand grabs the knife by his head and drives it through his heart. I gasp out in shock as red liquid pours from his mouth and wound. His last words stain my mind, scaring my thoughts. He was right; he and his psychotic mind will always be there.

"We must leave now Rin," Sesshomaru tells me.

I nod in response, abandoning Akuma's corpse in the hut. He is now one of the dead, something I always wished to be. "Wait," I call. I run back inside, grabbing the lantern beside Akuma's mangled body and throwing the burning candle at him. I watch as his body goes up into flames, remembering when I wanted the same thing.

Memories flood back as I walk away with Sesshomaru. Every scar, every punishment, every single injury that caused my body to become deformed was over. I was free to live my life the way I wanted. I was back with the stranger who cared and now knew the real truth of his abandonment. I've forgiven him as well as myself.

As we make our way deeper into the forest I smile. It's a small smile but a smile none the less. It's a happy smile, one that is rare in my case. But the smile soon turns into a frown as the sharp pain comes again. This time it comes without warning and limits my ability to breathe. Time seems to still, I have no recollection what is occurring. My body seems to not want to work and gravity drops me to the ground onto my knees. Blood escapes my mouth the second time tonight, staining the ground red. Beside me Sesshomaru speaks but I cannot understand. All my thoughts are on my body and how unstable it grows. Soon I get dizzy from the loss of blood. My vision blurs. Limbs weaken.

Then everything goes black.

* * *

Can anyone guess what she is suffering from?

review please.

.:Sapphire:.


	6. VI: Departure

**A/N:** _If you thought Tuberculosis, then you are correct._

**Disclaimer: **All characters of Rumiko Takahashi don't belong to me.

**Midnight In Summer**

By: December Sapphire

_"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadows of death,_

_I will fear no evil"- _Psalm 23:4

**Chapter VI**

**"Departure"**

Swirling pattern of black and grays and dark, fermenting reds, traceries of broken blood vessels spun out like embroidery across my belly- visible to the human eye.

It hurts to move.

It hurts to breath.

I try to scream but nothing comes out. What is happening to me?

My lungs burn inside like a raging fire. My chest is heavy and tight. It hurts so much.

Small breaths escape my mouth, wheezing and gasping for as much air as possible. My throat is dry and crackly like broken skin. Energy doesn't exist in my body anymore. Under my fingers there's soft fabric, cushioning my broken form. I am in a plain room with. The sliding door is open to the outside world. The song of birds reaches my ears, comforting me in my weak state. Where am I?

Sounds of voices grab my attention. A male and a female are speaking right outside my room. The male I immediately recognize as Sesshomaru while the female is foreign.

"How is she?" Sesshomaru asks.

The woman sighs, "She's weak. I'm doing the best I can, but her body seems to be rejecting all the herbs. I'm afraid she's too far into the illness."

"Will she survive?"

There is a silent pause. "I-I…no, Milord."

My heart stops and I try to sink in the information. Whatever illness that's affecting me, will lead to death. The only question is- will my soul allow me to leave?

"How long does she have?" he asks.

I await the answer, knowing it wouldn't be very long. "A few days perhaps. A week at most."

It's drawing closer. Maybe I am ready to die. I have been since I was a child. Perhaps it's finally time to be free. But I wanted a chance at life again; to fall in love and have a family. Still, how could I coupe with my past? It would be too difficult, even now, I think about Akuma and his untimely demise. He still haunts my every thought with nightmares of my past. When I die, would he be on the other side waiting?

No. I believe he will remain in hell, along with all the others who've tortured humans for their pleasure. I will be free. Free to roam the land. Free to do whatever I wish. I'll be up in the clouds, looking after the ones below.

I sit up slowly, ignoring the excruciating pain. My legs wobble. Visions blurs. I use the wall for support, opening the door more. The two demons look at me. The woman is young, only a little older than me. Her long, dark hair trails behind her as her bright green eyes widen with worry. "You shouldn't be up," she tells me.

Sesshomaru remains stoic, studying me. He can smell death radiating off. I guess he has always known what my future held.

I try to speak but no sound comes out, only loud coughing spasms. On my hand is a good amount of blood, reminding me of my present condition. I look back up to Sesshomaru to see him disappear around a corner. By now, the female demon is leading me back into my room.

"Here," she calmly speaks, handing me a glass of water. "Drink- you're dehydrated."

Cool liquid sooths my throat and wetting my cracked lips. "How long was I out?" I question, my voice raspy and cracking with every word.

"A few days," she answers, feeling my forehead. "Your fever has gone down. Good."

My eyes glance at the water, blinking slowly. "What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know but…I think what you have is something called the White Plague. I've only seen it a few times in my life and it's quite deadly."

"I overheard you say I only have a few days?"

She nods sadly, dabbing a wet cloth on my forehead. "I am sorry."

My eyes grow heavy with every passing minute. Maybe when I fall asleep, I won't wake up then I don't have to feel pain. But it seems as though my body wasn't finished yet. I would awake ever few hours, clearing my lungs and covering the bedding, my clothing, and the floor in a crimson color of red. I don't understand. Why must I suffer from this? I wish to be free. Still, my soul fights for life. What more can it want from life?

Flashes of memories haunt my dreams when I sleep. Moments from my childhood raddle me, awaking me in a cold-blooded scream. Days of being pregnant, the pain of being rapped and abused by Akuma and other villagers, the agonizing pain of the knife cutting into my upper leg with aggression, the murder of my family and the long lacerations on their necks, these memories are what made me interested in death and what created an incongruous being.

Then there are the happy memories. These memories are what kept me going throughout the years. The early ages of my life- playing tag with my older brother, - the first time meeting Sesshomaru- reminding me of myself,-and our reunion a few days ago-forgiving him for his abandonment.

I awake once again, this time vomiting blood into a nearby bowl. I am now falling, feeling time run out quickly. It wouldn't be long now. Soon I will become beautiful like the dead. Skin will dry up and evaporate. My eyes will sink into my skull. Cheeks will contract. Men will dream of me- a lifeless, rotting corpse. I would no longer be a piece of garbage; I would be a goddess- a beauty beyond compare. No, I never wanted to be something like that. I don't want my body to exist in this world any longer than it has too.

In the shadows, I spot a tall figure. It doesn't scare me, nothing does. I know who it is. "Lord Sesshomaru," I wheeze.

"You should be sleeping," he answers in the dark, walking slowly into the moonlight.

"I can't."

He sits beside me, watching. I wonder what he is thinking. The moonlight hits him at the perfect angle, making his skin glow and eyes brighten.

"You're beautiful," I whisper without knowing.

He narrows his eyes, remaining silent. Did I make him angry?

"I'm sorry," I apologise, shortly. "I guess I'm losing my mind."

My eyes move to the open window. The full moon is positioned at its apex, showing off its natural beauty. Summer breeze moves inside, dancing gently.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" I ask, not looking away from the ever-glowing moon. "Will you remember me when I die?"

"Don't say such silly things." I have heard that answer before. It makes me smile when I know he will.

I finally look back at him, his eyes seem different. They hold emotion. It is sadness. I move my hand to cover his, squeezing it lightly. "Lord Sesshomaru, can you promise me something?"

He makes no move to respond, only waits for me.

"When I die, will you set me ablaze? Let my ashes go free along with my soul? I don't wish to remain any longer. May my spirit remain with you but nothing no more than that."

"I promise, Rin. Rest now."

But I cannot rest just yet. I still have one last thing to do before I leave. "May I ask you one last request?"

"What is it?"

I lock eyes with him, waiting for a moment to answer. "Kiss me."

He stares at me, his face unreadable. Then gently, he lifts me up from the bed and cradles me in his arms. His fingers brush against my pale cheek, pulling me ever closer to his warm chest. I've never seen him act this way before. It was so distant from his normal actions.

"As you wish," he whispers softly.

His lips touch mine gently, carefully, like he was touching a glass doll. Tears run down my cheeks, feeling the exhilarating shock in my body from the touch. He was the one. The one I was destined to be with. I wanted so much to live just one more day with him. To feel what it would be like to be loved. Perhaps one day I'll return to this world- as much as I despise it, - this time more beautiful, more cared for by others.

I died on this midnight in summer. In the arms of the one I loved, I could feel my mind fading and floating away from my body. My soul is finally departing from this life, and I no longer envied the dead.

I was cremated when I passed.

I felt the flames burn my flesh into nothing. My ashes flew into the sky, saving my tormented soul from agony. I got my wish and have finally been saved from this curse.

I am no longer mutilated. I am no longer abused. I am no longer deformed.

I am free.

-Fin-

* * *

Thank you all so much for reading! Sorry it was such a short story but I never intended it to be very long. There will be a sequel/companion to this story called _Metamorphosis _which will be release soon. So make sure you add me to your alerts if you wish to read more! And again, thank you all so much for reading and remember, not all stories have happy endings.

If you liked it, strike that favorite button in the face like a boss!

And don't forget to leave a review letting me know how you liked it!

Until next time!

.:Sapphire:.


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